Benjamin Penguin

So Ben has it in his head to be a very thin baby. This amazes me to no end, as I was fairly convinced that any child gestating within me would be filled with more than his fair share of adipose tissue. I mean, I have it by the boatload. But at his (ridiculously late) 4-month wellbaby check-up, Ben checked in at an impressive 26 inches in length, but a mere 12 pounds, 10 ounces in weight. Which in itself is not the issue. The issue, of course, is that in the past month he’s slipped from his steady 25th percentile weight to the 5th percentile. And this is about when the eyebrows in the room start to rise.

So what does it mean? Well, fair reader, it means that while the gals were able to do their job quite well for the first three-ish months, they seem to not be quite up to the task at the present time. Not surprised. Really. I am a woman that has quit more academic tracks than a perpetually stoned freshman. Rounding the bend and finishing everything I set out to do is not exactly embedded in my DNA. Thus it is almost expected that my mammaries should follow suit. They are like the devoted captains that have no choice but to go down with the ship.

Now we supplement again. I’m about 90 percent okay with this and 10 percent hideously bummed. My bare minimum goal was exclusive breastfeeding until 6 months with the ideal goal of 75 percent breastfeeding/25 percent food at the end of one year. Well, it ain’t gonna happen, sister, so I better just dust off breastfeeding plan B and hop to it. So Ben gets 6-8 sessions with me each day and then between 4-6 ounces of formula as well. We go back in about a week to see if that has helped. I must confess that he already seems a little more calm between feedings and is sleeping a touch better for his naps and at night. There might be something to this after all.

Nothing about this motherhood gig is predictable or expected and I’m finding that with each passing week, I’m coming more and more to terms with this. I asked the doc why she thought the gals were shirking their duties so and she just shrugged. And I was remarkably ok with that. I just kinda shrugged, too. It felt like the most appropriate response because, after all, it just is what it is and Ben’s doc, nor Dr. Google, could really provide me with the definitive answer that I sought. It was kind of nice to just let it go.